Rush Limbaugh needs to be excused because of his lingering disappointment at once again failing to be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize when everyone knows he deserves to share it with Anne Coulter and Glenn Beck. In fact, the three of them are all so overwhelmingly deserving that the Nobel Committee ought to retire the award and give it to them permanently.

Speaking of Nobels, it's apparent that Pat Robertson merits the award for physics because of his unique and ingenious understanding of tectonics and seismology. And while we're at it, it's too bad there isn't a history award that could go to Sarah Palin for her unexcelled grasp of events such as the identity of the combattants in the Korean War. Instead, of course, she could be given the economics prize for her skill at acquiring a wardrobe on a tiny budget.